you’re welcome, child. i do what needs to be done for the people. bless us oh lord, and may your selfies and ahas rain down upon us like water on the leaves so that we may be sustained and carry on your good will through our dramatic text posts and all caps tags. amen
Missing child!!!!!!! Uriah Davis!! Philly 13 yrs old. Last seen 7600 block of Brentwood. 267.243.6003
Met a man, I see?
Anonymous asked: When you were doing the meme about ships, did anyone ask you about Harry and Leigh-Anne. If not, would you mind doing one?
hello, anon! you accidentally sent this to my zayn blog, so to make things easier, i’ll just respond like this - and of course i don’t mind 8)
Who usually initiates things?
when they first started up, he initiated. somehow they’d managed to be at the same club, a dancehall one that he seemed almost laughably out of place at in his burberry top and coordinating headscarf, and she’d been amused when he approached her on the floor, not really dancing - more like shuffling - as he leaned close and talked to her easily as if they were more than just vague acquaintances who’s bands were continuously linked together because of their stupid lovedovey bandmates. at the time, she’d been single, a little drunk and a lot horny and just curious enough that she wanted to see if he was actually as good as the mirror made it seem with all of those articles about his latest smash piece of the week. he was good - shockingly good, two consecutive orgasms in the gross bathroom stall she’d followed him into good. good enough that she was too embarrassed by how much she’d ended up enjoying it to call him back after he’d licked his lips, grinning up at her from his knees and taking her phone so he could put his number in it.
and then bc reasons they kept ending up at the same clubs at the same time, and she wasn’t a damn idiot if her head girl status all throughout school meant anything so she started initiating things too - at least so she could say she sat on harry styles’ face before she died.
Who has the most patience?
i’d say harry. their ‘relationship’ is rather inconsistent given that they’re both pretty busy and it’s obvious that she’s still vaguely stressed out about being linked to him beyond acquaintances so he has no issues with keeping it casual and going at her pace. they have fun when it’s just sex; some days leigh-anne will be bossing him around the bedroom and telling him where to move, and how to touch her, when he can come and when he has to stay put. other days she’s more pliant, shy and embarrassed when she scratches her long nails against his bicep and tucks her face against his neck so that he can barely hear her ask him to hold her down and fuck her harder, but harry’s always liked a challenge so he can’t really complain.
Who is louder?
they’re both loud as hell, which is inconvenient when you’re trying to keep your hookups with one of the biggest popstars in the world on the dl. she’ll get mad at him sometimes, like when they’d snuck off during dinner with zayn and perrie (they’d gone purely as two very hungry acquaintances of course) at some absurdly upscale restaurant in manhattan during the rare occasion when lm and 1d’s touring schedules had lined up to go fuck in the bathroom, naturally. luckily, no one was around at the time, ‘but even if there had been,’ harry had said, grinning at her while they quickly cleaned up, ‘they at least deserved to know how talented you are with your mouth - the acoustics of that gold toilet really didn’t do it proper justice.’ and then he’d gone and gotten a glass of wine ””accidentally”’ spilled on his new ugly ysl shirt for his troubles, which you know, is fair.
IM SCREAMING THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO
Aww! Drink water!